One of the most favorite actos of Docuseries “60 Days In” from channel A&E’s died by suicide.
Nate Burrell a star of A&E’s docuseries, 60 Days In, died by suicide Saturday night in his hometown of Allegan, Michigan.
TMZ reports his sister, Chelsey Walker, saying her brother shot himself in public in downtown Allegan.
Earlier, he posted a long and gloomy note on Facebook (see below). “I’m just tired, I’ve been through so much in my life, the pain of my situation now hurts more than I ever imagined. I can’t keep going on.”
Burrell was married and had a child on the way. He alluded to marital discord in his note. “I can only imagine how bad this would all turn out, all of the legal crap that would ensue after this with custody and everything else. You win! You have promised for weeks, you will ruin my life and I had no idea who I was messing with. You are right, I didn’t know who I was messing with.”
60 Days In depicted nine men, including Nate, who volunteer to be jailed for two months under assumed identities.
Burrell was a Marine from 2006 to 2010, and served two tours in Iraq. He was a Fish and Wildlife Officer in Michigan.
This isn’t an admission of guilt. I’m just tired, I’ve been through so much in my life, the pain of my situation now hurts more than I ever imagined. I can’t keep going on. I’m sorry Jordan I let you down. I have dreamed of the day I get to raise my son, but that was taken away from me. I can only imagine how bad this would all turn out, all of the legal crap that would ensue after this with custody and everything else. You win! You have promised for weeks, you will ruin my life and I had no idea who I was messing with. You are right, I didn’t know who I was messing with. You told me you wished I still wanted to kill myself a few weeks ago, and that has sat in my heart since. This isn’t a post to bash you but instead to lift you up.
I want to apologize to my family and friends for failing you. I know alot of you will think you could have changed my mind I ensure you, you wouldn’t. This isn’t a spontaneous thing. I had so much support through this and I am beyond grateful for everyone and everything you all have done. SO THANK YOU! But we all have our day, our time to go, most feel like we shouldn’t decide that but I’m here to tell you I’ve made that decision and as hard as it was I am happy with my decision. I’m done fighting the demons of my past, I’m done fighting the demons of today, and the demons of tomorrow. I hope my son gets to meet my friends and family and they can be apart of raising him. I pray that my family doesn’t resent ANYONE for my decisions. I know Jordan can be the best mom in the world and she will do an amazing job, I just need to remove myself from this picture to create a less complicated aspect of her raising him. I’ve said during every fight and argument to my family that Jordan is an amazing woman and even though people try to show me something else I see the real you Jordan. I’ve literally had some of the best times of my life with you Jordan you were truly my best friend. Cody and Katie you guys have been more than amazing during this and I’m extremely thankful for you guys helping me out. more than you will ever understand. You’ve really gone above and beyond. You have given me so much to be thankful for at these dark times. Cody you and I grew up as brothers and more we had a bond that was special beyond blood. I’m sorry for putting you guys in this position. I LOVE YOU! Mark, Brock, Jenny, thank you!!!! You have held a candle to this dark portion of my life and given me more time on this planet than I expected. I wouldn’t have made it this far without you. Tamara MOM you have the most beautiful soul ever, thank you for protecting me as a child. Thank you for guiding me as a young adult. I am forever indebted for your many sacrifices you have made for all of your children and even the ones you have raised who aren’t yours. I love you so much please be as much as a part of my sons life as you can. I know you and Jordan haven’t seen eye to eye on everything and you both need to raise above that hate and be there for him. I LOVE YOU MOM! Chelsey Walker I’m sorry for not keeping in touch as much as I could over the years. I love you sister. You have a beautiful family do your best to raise them to love and care for others. I love you. Kelly where to start with you?! You were like a friend to me growing up I loved how we hung out and you always made me feel loved and appreciated. I really can’t say anything bad about you. I love you! Grandma Barb wow!!!! What do I even say about you? Some of my fav childhood memories came from you and Grandpa Matt and I remember being so little and you always picking me up and dropping me off at school. I really was lucky to have you in my life. I love you! Donna grandma you are another person with the kindest soul ever, I’m pretty sure you are an angel on this planet and deserve the best life even though you have been dealt the worst cards of almost anyone I know. Once again you have helped mold me into the man I am today, my loving and caring side is def something I looked up to you for. William, uncle Bill you are a direct representation of your mom, the man I wish I could have been. You are an amazing person and thank you for all you have done for me throughout the years. Coleen, I remember being babysat by you as a kid thinking how does this woman do so much? You have a heart of gold you tried so hard to make everyone happy around you. The loss of John was a testimony of how strong you are. But you know he is not fighting any demons any more and will be in a better place when Jesus comes back for the second time and raises all those in Christ. Heidi, I know your days have been dark lately and I’m sorry for adding to this darkness. Please know how much I loved you and respected you. You and Connor have been huge parts of my life and I can’t believe that such a good person like you has had to fight the battles you have had to fight. I love you so much. Connor you are my closest sibling in the regards of staying in contact with me, I love you bro, I’m sorry you have had such a rough go at life as well but I promise, you are smart and strong, you will pull out of this. I am sorry I wasn’t there more for you in these later years. I love you so much! Kayla this is to being an awesome mother raising those children has been hard as a single parent and im proud of you, Brandon and Ryan you boys are the heart of me and I’m so happy to have been able to be apart of your lives, I love you all so very much. I’m going to list a few military friends as you can imagine this is hard to do right now with how my mind is going but Jake, Robert, Andrew, Carlos, Jonathan, Matt, Josh, Mada Staom, you know we have been to hell and back multiple times. You guys have been there from the beginning to the end. Our battles we fought together, I’m sorry you guys couldn’t fight this one with me. You guys have kept in contact over the years and I know there were many times we have been down and needed that ear to listen to, to turn our days around. You guys have been amazing I love you. I hope you guys who I haven’t mentioned know you all have been important in my life I just have so much to say and can’t really find the words. As you can see I’ve left this short you guys aren’t all about the mushy crap and would probably appreciate our brotherhood defined by this approach with simplicity. Some friends that jump out at this time Jeff, bro you and I hit it off right away, I’m happy you didn’t know how to fix things around the house and you called me out there. Some of my fav memories in Florida involved you and Tim, we won’t get started there lol. Your finance is such a beautiful person and I’m happy for her company during our late nights hanging out and doing all the fishing etc. I love you both, but you you have a special place in my heart Jeffro. Byers, William, brother from high-school then to the Marine Corps. together we have made memories that were forged with blood, sweat, tears, and most importantly laughs! We have gone years without hanging out but the phone calls never failed, it was crazy how we lived so close but never really did much together I guess having that fireteam can keep you busy. I love you brother. Johnny you and I have shared a special friendship from the things we have done and it goes so much beyond our time on camera together. I love you bro you have a beautiful heart. Calvin Mr. Crosby, man we really had it rough for 2 months didn’t we bro?! I can’t believe you couldn’t figure it out that I was in the program with you trying to help you out. We became brothers that day when you found out though brother. I love you take care. Kameron the dude is in the house! Bro we have been through more crap than a rat in a pig farm. Thanks for everything you have done throughout the years to help me, hopefully you grew as a person and learned things along the way. Remember “surround yourself with good people and good things will come”. I love you brother. Brendan what a stud bro such a short time knowing one another but man what a great person don’t let anyone make you jaded and ruin who you are. Keep being awesome I love you bro. Morgan I can pretty much repeat the same message, thanks for being an open ear in times and great advice giver when it was needed. I love you bro. Caleb you have wowed me with your life stories and at such a young age have done more and been through more than alot of people I know. I have so much respect and love for you brother. Keep being positive and pushing forward with the mission, have fun with that little go kart thing lol. You helped me in some dark areas in Texas on our mission there, so thank you. I love you brother. Sterlin Lee the myth the man the legend! I can’t believe you and I met and wow you know as well as I do our story is beyond awesome, please feel free to do everything we talked about travel around speak to the groups we talked about. I have nothing but love for you! So thankful you came into my life when you did. I love you bro. Justin straight up gangstas for life, man I wish I could go back in time sometimes and take some hard advice you tried giving. Our friendship has been another one more defined as closer than blood. Our crazy antics should be banned in 50 states. I love you brother thanks for always being there for me! Laurie (Scott/dad) what an incredible person you are. My ultimate role model, the man I tried to be! I have so much to be thankful for because of you. You left your doors open to me after you and my mom divorced. And raised me as your son! I couldn’t ask for a better dad. I love you so much my heart hurts for you in these times that you will be going through. I hope you beat cancer and can be there for my son and give him that same father figure role you gave me. Our incredible stories and hunting/fishing days were cherished by me in all parts of my life. I used them to get through alot of dark areas. I LOVE YOU DAD! Alot of my family and friends I have given personal visits to in these last days and you might not have known you might have just thought it was nice to catch up again, and I’m so happy we got that time! I love you all. I haven’t listed every friend or family member and I’m sorry my mind isn’t processing things the right way right now and names aren’t the easiest thing for me to gather.
I finally get to join some of the friends that no longer walk this dark path that we have all fought for years. I’d also like to mention the behavioral health side of our nation needs to be revamped and funded in a way its never seen. Our military and their families need it. I checked myself into the hospital for wanting to commit suicide and from the beginning I felt like a criminal going to jail. Stripped of my dignity and identity and personal property. I needed my family and friends during this time and you took that away. Not being able to communicate put me in such a darker hole than I was in originally that was so hard on me mentally. I would have told you anything to get me out of that place even if it meant I was okay when I wasn’t. You didn’t help me you held me prisoner so I couldn’t hurt myself? You need a better system America. This is the reason veterans and our military are killing themselves at such a high rate. They arent getting the treatment they need when they reach out for help they go to a place like I went. And as I told the doctors there I would kill myself before coming back to a place like this. You should be ashamed of yourselves. All I wanted was help, I sought you and you treated me like an animal.
For those who want to celebrate this day as a victory, enjoy it. I know alot of people hate me and that’s just what its going to be. I won’t change your minds. I hope you understand I’m sorry for hurting anyone in my life. And I hope you find it in your hearts to forgive me, I wasn’t a horrible person, I may have said or have done a few things to make you feel that way but I tried living my life as good as I could. I slipped up I created voids where voids didn’t need to be. None of us are perfect and none of us should cast judgment onto another person without knowing the complete story. I hope you all know I love you, every last one of you! I’m truly sorry from the bottom of my heart.
For those who are mourning know I’m in such a better place. I’m no longer fighting the battles that have been causing so much pain in my mind and life. Waking up feeling worthless, lost, confused, and tired/exhausted. I know you all have told me thats not who I am and I’m talented and have a good head on my shoulders, I appreciate you, but it doesn’t help how I feel. I’m so lost and really can’t see any light at the end of the tunnel. Since I’ve been out of the Marines I struggle with alot of aspects of reality, I struggle with sleep, feeling comfortable around people, going out in gatherings, focusing, memory issues. We have been told we are weak if we seek medical help in the military. It becomes a pride thing because you are afraid to be viewed as weak. I take my last breaths I hope you know I think about every single person that has came into my life. I tried my best! Please if you guys have a celebration of life or service for me, let everyone who wants to be there be there. Don’t stop Jordan or anyone else from being there if they want to. I ask from the bottom of my heart that you honor this. It isn’t her fault or anyone else’s fault that I made this decision. I pray that God puts peace on all of your hearts and minds. This day should be a day of everyone coming together and comforting everyone. I love you all.
Jordan you are going to do better raising our son without me than with me. I don’t hate you I’m not upset or mad, I’m sad, why did it have to turn out like this?! You’re such a beautiful person and can be the most loving person ever. Please move forward with your life with respecting yourself, loving yourself, you aren’t impossible to love, all of those things you and I have talked about are not you! You are such a fun person to be around, just keep your head up. I’m not there physically but I hope to always be there in the back of your mind, giving you the advice you need, when you are down. I hope to motivate you in the way I would when you would call me and ask me to help you. I told you regardless of our marital status I would love you and I hope you know that I still love you. My best day I’ve experienced so far was our wedding day. Our song is literally the perfect representation of that day. I just wonder if things would have went differently how would we have ended up. Just so you know you have been my favorite memory. If you don’t get my letters that I wrote to our son and you I’m sorry. I tried giving you closure. I feel like life would never have felt complete without meeting you, I wish our relationship would have went a different way but it didn’t. I’m a better person for knowing you. I LOVE YOU Heartbeat ❤❤💔. Your family has been amazing, it has hurt me so much not being able to talk to them these last days. But, Mark, Bridgette, Gerrit, you have been such a huge part of my life and I’m forever thankful for you guys being there for me in all the aspects you have been. I love you guys.
Let our lives not be defined by our mistakes but instead our hearts.
A few bible verses for you to remember during this time:
Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my Soul to keep[;]
If I should die before I ‘wake,
I pray the Lord my Soul to take.
For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
More text of Natte which could get removed and his photos : https://archive.is/Qswfd